reflecting in case the world ends

I have no story to tell but my own.

These are the things I found in the life of a late teenager.

In case the world ends, let’s reflect on the things we have until this moment. Because it’s my blog, I’ll reflect on my own life.

From birth until now, I feel like if someone could win in a birth lottery, my life would be at least the 7th best prize. My family is very well-off  in terms of fulfilling my needs, I have both my parents still alive and get along very well, they are religious people who constantly takes care of me. I am not stupid, quite intelligent if I may say so myself. And in terms of looks, I might not win Miss Universe but I am not ugly. I am very spolit, not experiencing many hardships in life. The number of times I use public transportation can be counted with a single hand. That’s how much I was spoilt.

But the question lingering in my mind as I think about all the things I have done with my life was what will I regret when the world actually ends?

Well, I’d regret being so depressed and not opening up to people sooner, but my life went fine even with my depression. I had some good days and my grades are satisfactory with the amount of work I have put in. I regret not taking chances with people, not trusting sooner. I’d regret being so self-absorbed, judging, and ignorant. But most of all, I regret not leaving the world with something.

I am idealist. I want to change the world with my work, and hopefully make God proud of me in the process. At the least I’d like to change someone’s life, make them know how much God loves them. Like in the old drama Touched by an Angel. I love it, and sometimes I hope God can use me the way He uses the angels to tell people how much He loved them and not be too brainwashing Christian in its way. Believe me, I’d love to see someone repent but I don’t want to give God’s children a bad name.

By going into medical school, I hope that I’d be able to see the lives of other people as well as saving them. And by the end of my career I hope I’d understand enough of God’s work in humans to write about them. Well, just writing fiction. Truth be told, if I was to pick again what major should I choose, I’d pick this all over again. I feel so blessed after my choice. But I have to say, I’d rethink and rethink again because I feel like I am so much better at English Literature and being an editor. I am good at criticizing people, well just pointing out some weaknesses and hopefully make them grow. I want to teach them to properly pursue their dreams in doing manga or fiction. I have a passion for that. But I’m afraid if I do study that, my head would only grow bigger because I’d feel that I am above the cut and everyone else. So I have to get in a major that humbles me.

that's pretty much all I could write and think of right now (well, supposedly "then" because I copy-pasted this from a word document I wrote before when the internet wasn't on, and this was supposed to be posted sooner).