Christmas Cheer

This is the first Christmas I spend without being part of the service, and quite frankly I feel numb. I don’t feel the Christmas spirit. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t part of the Christmas service, so I wasn’t really looking forward to Christmas time. It was just like “oh, is it Christmastime already? I didn’t notice.”

For as long as I remember, I was always practicing for Christmas celebration in times of approaching Christmas. At school, church, wherever. Christmas without them makes me think a lot more. I am no longer a kid, waiting for Christmas to get presents from Santa or our parents. (I gave up on that because of lots of reasons, one of them being previous dissappointing gifts just being something they would get me and not enough thought given to them.) If I think about it, I don’t have Christmas cheer in me this year, probably never had them but I was too busy to realize that.

I googled about that and some say the best way is to volunteer at Christmas time. One thing I forgot to mention, I am feeling quite under the weather this Christmas. You can hear my cough from a mile away. I guess I’d have to sleep in this Christmas Eve because my body isn’t feeling that well. Ever since I got out of school, the body’s condition is deteriorating. What kept me going although I was still in school is probably the adrenaline. Medical School is hard. I’ve lost 5 pounds since I got in. It is a good way to stress you out and lose weight if you lose weight when you stress out. Not a good way to lose weight if you’re a stress-eater.

In some parts of the world, Christmas Eve is a romantic night you spend with your loved one. This is just outrageous. If that’s so, I will spend it with my stuffed rabbit, Aki whom in previous blog have been featured. I might be jealous at those couples who get to spend Christmas Eve together, because quite frankly I have no person to spend it with.

Well, Christmas originated from the celebration of Jesus’ birth, marking a new beginning, that the baby who comes will bring forth salvation to all people. So why don’t I feel that cheerful? I’m a Christian, aren’t I supposedly the owner of biggest cheer?

Aaah. I don’t feel like this is a big thing. Why am I not being a spiritual person anymore?

I’m going away for a while to find my spirituality (maybe). Bye.