Pain

Haha.

The pain lets us know we're alive.
Physical and mentally.

roller coaster ride

Life is just giant roller coaster Ride. Especially if you're an emotionally unstable teenager. One moment you're on top of the world, the next you're at the bottom of the pile.

Not to whine again, but parents do care less about you when you are older. They tend to forget trivial things, like congratulating you in the coming of age ceremony. They feel that they don't need to tell you that. And it is up to our dear understanding to accept that. Good grades have become less and less appreciated. Other people, who are not family, have become more affectionate towards you than your own parents.

Parents then will become more and more like a child. They want you to treat them like an adult but also demands you to comprehend and obey you.

While friends don't demand much but your company. We treat them nicely because they treat us nicely as well. They sometimes treat us with more hospitality than what we see at home.

See your problems, parents? Treat your children like human beings, please. Treat your children as much as you care for your friends (whom you congratulate, and remember their birthdays). Don't be selfish. No matter what relationship it is, it needs take AND GIVE.

Weeks went by

It doesn't really feel like you've gone through half a year at school until the end of semester tests are coming up. Damn I really don't want to study. It really does feel like it's going too fast. You suddenly just forget all the things you have done these past few months.

Maybe I'm not that good of a writer. Haha. My friend just said the plot for my next story was too flat. Well she is way more experienced than I am so she has a point. It sucks to be writing about love stories when you never experience it.

Turning into an adult is a frightening thought when you're really near the age when people start treating you like an adult. You might think people will treat you differently, but not much changed since then. I am still ignored and probably more ignored now than ever. It doesn't feel much different, though.

The flow of time does not wait for anyone. Not now or ever.

We all get older each second of the day and we just don't realize it that much.

After you finally achieved what you wanted for a long time, I feel as if the end is just not as exciting as the chase. A part of growing up means also to move on. But moving on itself is a difficulty in itself. Life must go on. But I don't really want to.

The Future

I guess everybody has doubts no matter what.

Becoming a physician is what I've always told other people whenever anybody ask what are you going to do in life. But lately,Ive been getting less and less sure.

How does someone choose what they're going to do in life anyway?
Some can choose what they WANT to do, some choose something that they are good at. Dreamers choose what they are passionate about, but some call them fools or idiots for doing it. The rest is probably just jealous they didn't get to live their dream.

I'm still a coward and still undecided. Whatever the hell should I do?

The future is a mystery. But it is also what we make it. Hahaha.

DEPAPEPE; live @ java soulnation

gue tahu gue anak udik, belom pernah nonton konser sebelomnya. tapi nggak rugi banget nonton konser DEPAPEPE.

DEPAPEPE adalah sebuah grup gitaris jepang yang populer lewat lagu START. sebagai salah satu orang yang mengaku sebagai otaku, apalagi japan-lover, rasanya nggak mungkin kalo nggak tahu manusia-manusia ini.

Dari kesaksian temen gue yang ngejempout DEPAPEPE di airport, mereka itu orang-orang yang superbaik and down to earth. bayangin, mereka yang artis, yang lari ngedatengin fans nya buat foto. And ada temen gue yang dapet tanda tangan mereka di gitar dia. *gigit jari ngiler berat*

Waktu konser hari minggu mulai jam 21.45an, mereka dapat sambutan meriah. Take a bow dulu baru mulai maen. Yang paling sering ngomong waktu show itu MIURA, sedangkan TOKU bener-bener anteng, tenang, cool gitu. MIURA sempat memperkenalkan diri dalam bahasa indonesia logat jepang, and kedengeran lucu abis. Unyuu. Wakakak. TOKU komentar, "I love Indonesia, Mantap!"

Suer, waktu TOKU yang anteng-anteng bilang mantap, gue ngakak. lucu abis.

MIURA and TOKU bener-bener incorporate the fans into the show. MIURA ngajakin fans buat berpartisipasi waktu memperkenalkan band mereka. Gue masih inget dia bilang, "so when I say 1, 2, 3 go! You say Hey, sei-chan!" ato waktu Sei-chan diganti Sharaku. MIURA sempat berganti berbicara dalam bahasa jepang, yang cepat sekali. Tapi yang gue artiin beberapa, "lagu selanjutnnya kita main lagu Rock" shock juga, emang mereka maen lagu rock?? tapi yang paling gue suka waktu dia bilang penontonnya yang terbaik sama penontonnya keren. *membanggakan diri*

Sayang banget hari minggu gag ada meet and greet nya, tapi mereka bersedia encore. Lagu encore nya SUMMER PARADE, berdasarkan permintaan audience. Mereka super cool. I didn't want the concert to ever end, walaupun udah jam 11 lebih and besoknya gue sekolah.

Gue ada video mereka, dan bukti dua-duanya personel DEPAPEPE ngomong Mantap, lebih dari sekali. gue nggak rekam seluruh performance, tapi tiap bit kurang lebih ada. maklum, memory gue sedih banget tinggal dikit. Gitu-gitu perlu hapus data-data berharga tauu.. *hiks*

Overall, konser DEPAPEPE kurang lebih highlight hari itu di java soulnation. yang lain ada kok yang keren, tapi menurut gue nggak se-spektakuler DEPAPEPE. Tapi gue cuman dateng buat nonton DEPAPEPE juga sih.. ehehehe..

DEPAPEPE, please come back soon!! Indonesia loves you!!

status update

don't we all bear some similar traits of which people call the likeness of a mentally ill?

hey. i just wanted to say it.

funny. my life's been such a mess yet it doesn't completely suck. but it does need a lot of readjustments.

i am broke. out of cash.

and currently reading pride and prejudice. i find it completely charming.

status update complete.

Being exposed to the vast world of occupations has made me quite astounded and frankly, a little bit lost. i have no longer a certainty of which occupation i will pursue in the future. like a child in a candy store, astounded, yet not every candy might be to your liking. Like a child seeing the sea for the first time, it is truly capturing.

the important thing when finding what you will do in your life is your conscience. how am i suppose to do that when i can barely hear it?

chinese new year

the chinese new year is dawning upon us! the year of the hare, which is very fertile. hopefully it brings good harvest, as in the hongbaos.. wkwkwk..

all people really want in life is recognition, or at least it's what i really want in life.. I'd really like someone who just pat me in the back and say, you did a good job. i hope i'll find someone like that someday.. Haha. most people don't have the luxury of having that in life, but i hope someday i can be someone who gives that much satisfaction to someone in life.

As a teenager, mostly your life is revolved around your friends. But they are not perfect. They can disappoint. Realizing that and the fact that i have to change the focus of my life to prevent any unnecessary pain is... somehow scary. but i know i'll survive. somehow.

i'm alive, ain't i? it's not too late.

i'm gonna end with the translations to YUI's song, Life

the song is awesome and it has a great meaning. certainly my cup of coffee.

rtist/band: Yui
Album: From Me To You (2006)
Genre: Pop
Posted by: Che-Che


I'm covered in dirt in the city I cannot get used to
I can't laugh the same way
I walked looking down

The people who miss each other walking in a fast pace
Did your dream come true?
I'm still struggling

Bridge 1:
Rather than returning to your childhood days
I want to live the present in a better way
I was born to be scared

Chorus 1:
Going out to the place where light shines
And spreading both of your arms out
I wonder if I can pass that sky? So I thought
The wings for me to fly, I cannot see them yet
Since things aren't easy, that's why I can live

Just holding up a wet puppy
I am able to laugh a little
My tears are starting to fall

I want to be loved, I want to be loved, so I kept saying
You can't just keep demanding

Bridge 2:
When I was a child, there were times
I hurt my mom badly
I want to change everything now

Chorus 2:
Going out to the place where light shines
I held that hand strongly
That place, that time, like this
I can change my life
But I cannot say everything in my heart to you
Since things aren't easy, that's why I can live

Chorus 3:
Going out to the place where light shines
I opened up to see the map, but
I know, you know, that getting lost isn't that bad
I can change my life
Stuffing the days that passed
That is me now
Since things aren't easy, that's why I can live

Good night! and happy chinese new year everyone!!

new title

title blog baru gue diambil dari soundtrack kuroshitsuji ending 1, I'm alive by Becca. Lagunya keren abis. Someday i'll post the lyrics.

Sebagai anak yang dimanjakan dan belum pernah menafkahi dirinya sendiri, i'm not the one to whine about the things i don't have in life.

Hehe.. gue lagi suka banget sama Hoshi wa Utau. it's a very deep story, of despair, hope, Natsuki Takaya emang superhebat buat hal yang berbau filsuf, the most basic of human nature..

Keren banget. Kalau udah pernah baca karyanya dan nggak merasa connected sama paling nggak satu karakternya dia, anda benar-benar belum pernah hidup (kayaknya)

Di fruit basket gue suka karakter mamanya Honda Tooru. i can totally relate to her pain. Sometimes i feel a lot like her. Terus di Hoshi wa utau, gue sekarang lagi suka sama Kanade.

Gue juga merasa, reputasi yang ada buat gue , harapan orang-orang itu, bener-bener nyesekin.

Tapi kalau gue, i'm scared to give it my all. i'm scared that my all wouldn't be enough. he said he was pampered, and weak, and salah ortunya kalau dia pikir bisa lebih. What are his parents' supposed to do then? Tapi he has a point. it got him to the edge of what he could take. all he wanted was to be accepted.

gue juga suka sama hijiri. mirip juga sama gue.. pampered, good family, but wanted what they call unhappiness, tapi begitu tahu unhappiness does not feel good, gave up on it. i want to mean something in someone's life. i want someone to miss me in my funeral, if i ever die, if i don't exist. i want someone who needs me.

that's just it isn't it? we all just want someone who needs us, who wants us, to accept us.

That's pretty much all we want.